Adoption

...for in You the fatherless find compassion. Hosea 14:3

• There are between 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide
• Every day 5,760 more children become orphans
• 2,102,400 more children become orphans every year in Africa alone
• Every 15 seconds, another child in Africa becomes an AIDS orphan
• 8 out of 10 children orphaned by AIDS lives in sub-Saharan Africa

• Each year 14, 505, 000 children grow up as orphans and age out of the system by age sixteen
• Each day 38,493 orphans age out
• In Russia and Ukraine, studies have shown that 10% – 15% of these children commit suicide before they reach age eighteen
• These studies also show that 60% of the girls become prostitutes and 70% of the boys become hardened criminals
• Another Russian study reported that of the 15,000 orphans aging out of state-run institutions every year, 10% committed suicide, 5,000 were unemployed, 6,000 were homeless and 3,000 were in prison within three years…

• In the United States there were 463,000 children in the foster care system in 2008. Only 55,000 adoptions were recorded through public agencies that year.

• 500,000 embryos have been frozen and stored since the 1970s. Around 11,000 of those have been designated for research. Only 1,000 babies have been born through embryo adoption in the 10 years it has been available. That means there are hundreds of thousands of babies literally frozen in time, waiting to live.

Frightening statistics aren't they? I found most of them on a UNICEF website along with other agency sites.

If you know us, you know that adoption is very near and dear to our hearts. The scriptures tell us over and over to "care for the orphans". That makes it sound like a "duty" assigned to all Christendom. For us, it was not a duty, it was a dire need. Our hearts and arms were aching for a baby and that was the only way to stop the pain. We didn't see our ourselves as selfless, noble Christians. We were pitiful and desperate. For others it is a call from the Lord to care for His children. To them it is a duty and a calling. Adoption perspectives are different for couples struggling with infertility and couples struggling with a world full of fatherless children. Both perspectives lead to the same ending...children finding homes.

It has been almost 6 years since I received a phone call while on vacation in Hilton Head. A couple of weeks earlier we had agreed for our profile to be sent to a birthmom in Oregon. There were a few details that were unsettling to me but still it was a chance at a baby, so we took it. Knowing we were across the country from her, I never really expected to hear anything else from our agency in regards to her. Then there was the day of the phone call. We were vacationing with David's sister and her family. Most everyone had gone ahead to the beach. David's sister, Mary Nell and I were left behind...truth is we probably went shopping in the morning and they didn't want to join us :) As we were about to leave the villa, my cell phone rang. On the other end was our Bethany adoptive parent counselor. She informed me that we had been chosen by the birthmom in Oregon. Now, if you have ever been in the waiting process for adopting, you know the level of anxiety that exists about receiving "the" call. We all live for that ring, that voice that says "you have been chosen". We had heard that same phrase a year earlier only to have our hearts crushed by a failed adoption. So when I heard those words this time, I really didn't react. I think I explained we were on vacation, asked what the next step was and politely thanked Bethany. I hung up thinking I should really be excited but telling myself don't be excited, this is too good to be true, this will never really happen. My sister in law could see the change in my spirit and asked what happened. I remember telling her "we were chosen". She was so excited, I was rather numb. As she and I made our way to the beach, I tried to explain what I was feeling. I found David on the beach and told him about the call. He was excited, but just as hesitant as me. As the week ended we prayed with our families in the parking lot as we were going our separate ways. I remember Mary Nell praying for us and this baby girl. She prayed for our wisdom and strength and for health and safety for the baby. We drove home excited but guarded. In the coming weeks we would find out more details and speak with the birth grandmother on the phone. There were details that were bothersome and concerning. There were details that were exciting and too good to be true. In the end, we were given a peace that passed our understanding. On August 14 we received the next highly anticipated phone call...she was in labor. We flew to Oregon the next day and held our baby girl 6 hours after she entered the world. The flight was filled with joy and anticipation. God had replaced anxiety and worry with peace and love. I knew this time was what we had been waiting on, this time we would be leaving the hospital with a baby. And we did. One day later we left the hospital with Olivia Ann. It was a glorious event!

Now fast forward to current day...our baby girl is 5. She is beautiful and finishing Kindergarten as a reader. She has a heart of gold, her biggest smiles come when she is helping someone else. She can sing "Mighty to Save" better than any Hillsong or labeled artist. She also has some struggles related to decisions that were made before she was even born. You see, adoptive life is just like any other life. You never know what is around the corner. Whether you build your family through pregnancies or adoptions, you will daily experience new blessings and dilemmas. There is no difference in our hopes and dreams for our children. There is also no difference in the fears and struggles.

Whether you are desperate for a baby or you are a Christian who is feeling God's leading to care for His children, follow your hearts. God our Father is calling us to care for the orphans in our world. There are orphans in foster care in the United States. There are orphans all over the world. There are orphans frozen in cryogenic labs across the country.

You can also care for orphans without adopting. Did you know that? You can support them financially through many reputable organizations. Two of my favorites are Compassion International and World Vision. There is also an incredible website created by 2 moms whose passion for children grew into 7 adoptions for their families and a global outreach to orphans and adoptive families. You can also personally support families in your lives who are seeking to adopt. The process is not cheap.

You can fervently pray for families whom you know are in the adoption process. And don't stop praying when they bring their forever child into their home. Stand by them, pray for them and love that new child as the precious gift of God that he or she truly is.

With the news of recent days about the child being returned to Russia by an American adoptive mom, I fear there are many potential adoptive families being frightened away. I don't know all of the facts of that little boy or the mom. I, of course, have an opinion but this is neither the time nor the place to share it. I will say this, every adoption has inherent risks be they related to a foreign government, unknown medical conditions, in utero exposures, a wavering birthmom, a thawing process or an implantation procedure. But every pregnancy has inherent risks as well. There are no guarantees bar this... If God takes you to it, He will take you through it. Our Savior calls us to care for the "least of these".

Last but not least, in fact most importantly I thought I would share some pictures of what it looks like to adopt. Could the face of God be more beautifully reflected?

Caroline

(Domestic Adoption)

Reed

(International Adoption from Taiwan)

Jacob
(Domestic Adoption)

Ellie

(International Adoption from Kyrgyzstan) All of these children are now living in their forever families. All of them are being raised in Christian homes where they are loved, treasured and led toward a relationship with God. Their stories are filled with God's providence, grace, mercy and power.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
James 1:27

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6

Soccer Mom

"Soccer Mom"... when that term was first coined it struck fear and trembling in the hearts of political strategists. It signified the political power that was held in the hands of 30-something moms. These well educated, current event savvy, mini-van driving, PTA presiding , carpool coordinating, side line cheerleading women were in fact a power to be reckoned with. In between all that they balanced in their everyday life, they became very vocal in the political process. Both parties began to recognize the potential and threat of these non-traditional players. Thus began the war for the soccer moms. It seemed overnight that the opinions and convictions of moms were on the forefront of political agendas.

I will admit when "soccer mom" was first thrown into the national spotlight, I was a little confused. I didn't know if there was an exclusive "club" that was causing all this hullabaloo or if it was truly a slow news week. At the time I had a sweet little 3 year old who was playing soccer for the first time. So I was a soccer mom but I knew I yielded no political power :) I was amused to watch the clamourings of newscasters trying to predict the weight of the soccer mom vote in future presidential elections.

Move forward 10 years. The political "soccer mom" has been overshadowed by the "Nascar Dad" (I will reserve my opinions on that phenomenon :) The term soccer mom rarely scores a mention on The Today Show. Now we really are mothers of soccer players, not political heavyweights. That is ok with me. I LOVE my soccer players and I LOVE being their mom. I drive my mini-van with pride!


That 3 year old from years past, who broke his arm on the bleachers and only played 1 game that year is now a great soccer player. Alex is the leading scorer on his team but more importantly he loves his team and is dedicated to them.




Now these new soccer players are not as how should I say..."accomplished" as their brother. Their first game was more like a comedy than a sports telecast. One scored an accidental goal, one stood on the field and NEVER moved (not one muscle) the other played really hard for 3 minutes, announced he was done, sat down and took off his shin guards.... It may be a long season :)

GPS?

Joshua- "Mommy, was dis a GPS fwom when you were wittle?"

Me-"No, Joshua. That is an Etch-a-Sketch"

Keeping the Faith

The world seemed riveted to televisions and streaming video just a couple of weeks ago. Everyone talked of the earthquake in Haiti and rallied to give support. There were prayer services, donations of money, teams of workers were sent to the tiny island, organizations mobilized, people prayed, people traveled and on and on. The focus of the world was on Haiti. Now, 15 days after the quake, most of our lives go on unaffected by the tragedy. That is not the case for so many families. There are still thousands of people still missing in Port au Prince. Their families are still riveted to streaming videos hoping for the next "miracle" story to be their daughter, husband or friend. You see, while we go on about our lives, their lives have stopped. Stopped and waiting on word from Haiti. They pray without ceasing, because now, prayer is all they really have. If you are on Facebook, you can follow some of the story on http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Haiti-Earthquake-Hotel-Montana/245595172631?ref=mf
This page was set up for families of people missing from a single hotel, Hotel Montana. In this hotel was a group from Compassion International, Lynn University, a civil air group and countless others.
Please stop and pray for these families and their loved ones who are lost in the rubble. Our God is the Great Healer and the Great Comforter. He is mighty to save!

Quote of the Day

Humble beginnings for a future philosopher

Joshua is our deep thoughts kind of kid. He comes out with one liners that on the front are just hysterical but when thought about are really kind of deep. Most of his "Joshua-isms" are related to when he gets older. My favorite so far...


"Mommy, when I grow up to be a Daddy you need to get me a wallet...and...I guess keys to"


Pretty funny coming out of a 4 year old. Pretty deep when you consider the financial resposibilities we face as adults.

Christmas and beyond

Here we are in January and I am just now getting around to downloading pics from Christmas. I could use the excuse that I was too busy and while I was busy, "too" busy would be a lie. Really I just despise the downloading process of cords, cameras, waiting for a program to open, waiting an eternity for the pics to download...etc. So I have been avoiding it. But no more, I have in my possession the greatest gadget since magic erasers...a card reader! Now, some of you more techno-savvy readers must be thinking "wow, she finally made it out of the stone age". Well, maybe I did. I bought a card reader on the advice of the man at Whites Camera on the Square. He is a genius in my book! To sum up my joy...I downloaded 182 pics in a matter of seconds when the same task would have taken an hour or so before my purchase. So here is a multitude of pics from what I refer to as "My Twelve Days of Christmas" (Christmas Eve to my birthday)...

Our family as we leave for a Christmas Eve service at church. It was a wonderful service, with some giggles on our part. We did what we thought was a great job of preparing our little kids for communion. You know..."there will be a very quiet time"..."tray with little crackers"..."tiny glasses of juice"..."mostly big people"..."Jesus in your heart"..."a special snack for you after we are finished". We thought it was at least adequate until the first tray of bread went by... " I yike bwead Mommy"..."Why can't I eat bwead, I'm not awergic to it"..."I'm vewy hungwy"...Joshua to the family behind us "you eat it, they won't let us"..."please give me a drink, I'm SOOOOO firsty" Needless to say the families around us got quite a kick out of communion on this Christmas Eve :)

After church we went to a birthday party for Jesus. It is a long standing traditions for the Breeden's and they include the other staff families.

Seth and Zachary

Their sister, MollyCameronLukeSteven

We left the party to go home and open our traditional Christmas Eve gift...new jammies. Everyone gets new jammies which is mainly so we can take a cute family pic on Christmas morning.

After jammie opening and modeling, it was time for the Christmas story.

Alex read the story from Luke.

Now if you know much about us, you know that sleeping late NEVER happens at our house. In fact, in Olivia's book 6 am is a very late wakeup time. So this was a little concerning to us. We didn't want kids waking up and finding "Santa's" gifts without us. So Alex came to the rescue. He suggested they all camp out together. That way he would keep them in the bedroom until we were ready. The "tent" for Christmas Eve camp outEveryone piled into one full size bunk bed. A little crowded but still very sweet.Once they were asleep, "Santa" brought the giftsWaiting on the steps for the signal to run into the living room...
Cute pic with everyone in new jammies.
Every girl needs a Barbie playhouse. This one has more going on than really needed...a ringing doorbell, lights that come on, a fireplace with sounds of flames, a flat screen TV, tiki torches that light up around the hot tub and the piese te resistance(sp?)...a toilet with flushing sounds. I don't remember my sister's Barbie house "flushing".
After enjoying our morning at home, we loaded the van and headed for the holy land. It was presents all around first at David's parents house, then at my cousins. Memaw and Papaw

Manda and Livi Lu

Lego's and an Easy Bake Oven were big hits...

A couple of days later we had the annual family "wok-a-thon". Ever since 2000 David's family has had some sort of "cook-off" complete with competing dishes, judges and awards. Past themes have been "wok" (Asian), breakfast, Italian, All-American and I am sure there were others, but I can't remember them. This year our theme was Tex-Mex. Amanda was the decorations coordinator.....Beesh, David, Alex, Lauren, Mary Nell and myself all submitted dishes. It was quite a feast!!The winner... in my very first apron (Thanks, Min)
While we were in the holy land, some of us had little side trips...David and Alex went skiing, Livi and I went to Savannah for the birth of Baby Jackson.

I don't really have pics from Savannah. The shots of Livi at the beach were too dark to see. I forgot my camera when we were at the hospital. My big adventure involved driving through a really bad part of town to get to the historic district. It is in the beautiful, old south-ish part of Savannah that the best lemonade on the face of the earth can be found. If you are ever in Savannah, go to Parker's on Drayton St. You will not be disappointed! But back to my story, on my way there I saw a wallet lying in the middle of the street. At first I ignored it, then I thought about how I would feel if my wallet/purse were missing. So I turned around, stopped in an alley and walked into an intersection to retrieve the wallet. Once back in the van I looked around and realized I was not in a good place. I quickly drove away. Once at Parker's, I looked through the wallet for id and it was from FL. So I got directions to a Police precinct. After loading up my lemonade (that was my priority, remember) I went to the police. I told them my story and after telling them where I found it the policeman said "You stopped there? Don't ever do that again." Ok, I will remember that! I left the wallet with them and departed...sipping lemonade and thanking God for His protection.

Twelve days after Christmas is my birthday. This was a big one...like one that begins in 4 and ends in 0. My fantabulous husband and friends made it the best ever!

It started with a note saying I would be getting 40 of my favorite things for my 40th birthday... The table was loaded with a basket of, yes, 40 of my favorite things... Pringles, truffles, diet cherry coke, a cd David burned of 80's music (Don't Stop Believing, Mr. Roboto...), notes about future get aways, a warm blanket, pictures and notes from the kids ...

even pistachio ice cream in the freezer.

It was a great beginning!

Later I went to what I thought was a lunch with my sweet friend Mel. But it turned out to be a surprise lunch with 6 great friends at PF Changs. YUMM-O!!

It was so much fun!! These are fabulous ladies and I am blessed to call them friends...even if they questioned my choice from the menu...Chicken and Eggplant :)

After our meal, the waitress came over with this....It was as yummy as it looks!! And it was enough to share, so everyone got a piece (except our poor friend who is allergic to chocolate, can you imagine?)My day wasn't over yet...

For Dinner, David took our family to one of my favorite restaurants... Buca Di BeppoWe got to sit at the kitchen table. It is exactly what is sounds like...a booth right in the kitchen. We got to watch the chefs and wait staff in all their busyness. The kids loved and so did I! Alex's pizza The huge cupcake they gave me and the little hands that ate most of it...
Blessed!

It was a great birthday. In fact, I would turn 40 every day if I could repeat this day :)

So that is it, enough I know. This is probably the longest post I ever posted. My cousins that blog have been complaining about people not leaving comments on their blogs. I would love to hear from you...if you like what you read :)