Adoption

...for in You the fatherless find compassion. Hosea 14:3

• There are between 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide
• Every day 5,760 more children become orphans
• 2,102,400 more children become orphans every year in Africa alone
• Every 15 seconds, another child in Africa becomes an AIDS orphan
• 8 out of 10 children orphaned by AIDS lives in sub-Saharan Africa

• Each year 14, 505, 000 children grow up as orphans and age out of the system by age sixteen
• Each day 38,493 orphans age out
• In Russia and Ukraine, studies have shown that 10% – 15% of these children commit suicide before they reach age eighteen
• These studies also show that 60% of the girls become prostitutes and 70% of the boys become hardened criminals
• Another Russian study reported that of the 15,000 orphans aging out of state-run institutions every year, 10% committed suicide, 5,000 were unemployed, 6,000 were homeless and 3,000 were in prison within three years…

• In the United States there were 463,000 children in the foster care system in 2008. Only 55,000 adoptions were recorded through public agencies that year.

• 500,000 embryos have been frozen and stored since the 1970s. Around 11,000 of those have been designated for research. Only 1,000 babies have been born through embryo adoption in the 10 years it has been available. That means there are hundreds of thousands of babies literally frozen in time, waiting to live.

Frightening statistics aren't they? I found most of them on a UNICEF website along with other agency sites.

If you know us, you know that adoption is very near and dear to our hearts. The scriptures tell us over and over to "care for the orphans". That makes it sound like a "duty" assigned to all Christendom. For us, it was not a duty, it was a dire need. Our hearts and arms were aching for a baby and that was the only way to stop the pain. We didn't see our ourselves as selfless, noble Christians. We were pitiful and desperate. For others it is a call from the Lord to care for His children. To them it is a duty and a calling. Adoption perspectives are different for couples struggling with infertility and couples struggling with a world full of fatherless children. Both perspectives lead to the same ending...children finding homes.

It has been almost 6 years since I received a phone call while on vacation in Hilton Head. A couple of weeks earlier we had agreed for our profile to be sent to a birthmom in Oregon. There were a few details that were unsettling to me but still it was a chance at a baby, so we took it. Knowing we were across the country from her, I never really expected to hear anything else from our agency in regards to her. Then there was the day of the phone call. We were vacationing with David's sister and her family. Most everyone had gone ahead to the beach. David's sister, Mary Nell and I were left behind...truth is we probably went shopping in the morning and they didn't want to join us :) As we were about to leave the villa, my cell phone rang. On the other end was our Bethany adoptive parent counselor. She informed me that we had been chosen by the birthmom in Oregon. Now, if you have ever been in the waiting process for adopting, you know the level of anxiety that exists about receiving "the" call. We all live for that ring, that voice that says "you have been chosen". We had heard that same phrase a year earlier only to have our hearts crushed by a failed adoption. So when I heard those words this time, I really didn't react. I think I explained we were on vacation, asked what the next step was and politely thanked Bethany. I hung up thinking I should really be excited but telling myself don't be excited, this is too good to be true, this will never really happen. My sister in law could see the change in my spirit and asked what happened. I remember telling her "we were chosen". She was so excited, I was rather numb. As she and I made our way to the beach, I tried to explain what I was feeling. I found David on the beach and told him about the call. He was excited, but just as hesitant as me. As the week ended we prayed with our families in the parking lot as we were going our separate ways. I remember Mary Nell praying for us and this baby girl. She prayed for our wisdom and strength and for health and safety for the baby. We drove home excited but guarded. In the coming weeks we would find out more details and speak with the birth grandmother on the phone. There were details that were bothersome and concerning. There were details that were exciting and too good to be true. In the end, we were given a peace that passed our understanding. On August 14 we received the next highly anticipated phone call...she was in labor. We flew to Oregon the next day and held our baby girl 6 hours after she entered the world. The flight was filled with joy and anticipation. God had replaced anxiety and worry with peace and love. I knew this time was what we had been waiting on, this time we would be leaving the hospital with a baby. And we did. One day later we left the hospital with Olivia Ann. It was a glorious event!

Now fast forward to current day...our baby girl is 5. She is beautiful and finishing Kindergarten as a reader. She has a heart of gold, her biggest smiles come when she is helping someone else. She can sing "Mighty to Save" better than any Hillsong or labeled artist. She also has some struggles related to decisions that were made before she was even born. You see, adoptive life is just like any other life. You never know what is around the corner. Whether you build your family through pregnancies or adoptions, you will daily experience new blessings and dilemmas. There is no difference in our hopes and dreams for our children. There is also no difference in the fears and struggles.

Whether you are desperate for a baby or you are a Christian who is feeling God's leading to care for His children, follow your hearts. God our Father is calling us to care for the orphans in our world. There are orphans in foster care in the United States. There are orphans all over the world. There are orphans frozen in cryogenic labs across the country.

You can also care for orphans without adopting. Did you know that? You can support them financially through many reputable organizations. Two of my favorites are Compassion International and World Vision. There is also an incredible website created by 2 moms whose passion for children grew into 7 adoptions for their families and a global outreach to orphans and adoptive families. You can also personally support families in your lives who are seeking to adopt. The process is not cheap.

You can fervently pray for families whom you know are in the adoption process. And don't stop praying when they bring their forever child into their home. Stand by them, pray for them and love that new child as the precious gift of God that he or she truly is.

With the news of recent days about the child being returned to Russia by an American adoptive mom, I fear there are many potential adoptive families being frightened away. I don't know all of the facts of that little boy or the mom. I, of course, have an opinion but this is neither the time nor the place to share it. I will say this, every adoption has inherent risks be they related to a foreign government, unknown medical conditions, in utero exposures, a wavering birthmom, a thawing process or an implantation procedure. But every pregnancy has inherent risks as well. There are no guarantees bar this... If God takes you to it, He will take you through it. Our Savior calls us to care for the "least of these".

Last but not least, in fact most importantly I thought I would share some pictures of what it looks like to adopt. Could the face of God be more beautifully reflected?

Caroline

(Domestic Adoption)

Reed

(International Adoption from Taiwan)

Jacob
(Domestic Adoption)

Ellie

(International Adoption from Kyrgyzstan) All of these children are now living in their forever families. All of them are being raised in Christian homes where they are loved, treasured and led toward a relationship with God. Their stories are filled with God's providence, grace, mercy and power.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
James 1:27

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6